she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she looked like the before picture.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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