so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
