You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
