you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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