When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
