the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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