I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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