That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
dude. I can hear the air.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
