i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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