The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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