Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
