So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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