so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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