your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
