Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
