Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
