i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize