you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
