Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
