I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
