Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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