I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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