we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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