hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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