Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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