My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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