Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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