i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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