I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
