but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We need to rekindle our bromance
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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