The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
