I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
