Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize