dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
