Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
