okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
