Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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