theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
