he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
