Pants 0. Shit 1.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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