the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
