How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize