I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i came on her dog
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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