dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
