did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Four minutes until I can fart!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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