Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
