dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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