Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
