I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
