butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize