We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
