I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
