Sry I called you an 8
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
