I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Pants are for mortals
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
