Your tits are I can't wait for
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize