you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize