I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
