my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize