i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
