The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize